back to work

Going back to work after almost eleven weeks of loving on little Minden everyday has been by far one of the hardest things I think I have ever done. 

Once, while Nate and I were still dating, he mentioned he would like me to be a stay-at-home-mom to our kids. I laughed him off and insisted that I would never want that. Then came a long the most precious little baby girl EVER, and immediately I wanted to take it all back. 

Those days at home with her during my maternity leave I dreamed about what it would be like if that were possible for us. If only I could just find a little side job; something I felt passionate about and that would still pay me the same. Enough to give us a little time apart (important for both of us socially) and to make me feel like I wasn't just sitting at home all day. Although it isn't possible for us at this point I still dream of a day when it could be.

The evening before I went back was a battle. I wanted so much to enjoy my last afternoon at home with her, but I couldn’t stop myself from feeling sad. This resulted in the worst headache I have ever had, running a slight fever and lots of tears.Oh man did I cry. I cried that night, the next morning, the entire ride to work, at work and then again on the second day back to work. I sat in the lactation room sobbing while I looked through pictures of her on my phone. I wished I could just stick her back in my belly. Where I knew she was safe and always with me.

I just feel like I missing out on so much time with her. I used to know about every smile, tear and dirty diaper. I am so thankful my sister could come watch her this week to make the transition a tiny bit easier for me. I am sure with time it will get easier. I will start to cry a little less each day until I am no longer a basket case over it. I will keep praying for the strength to get through each day.

Each evening I will continue to hold her a little tighter and kiss her twice as often. I will cherish each and every minute we have together.

My saving grace today is that it is Friday, which means two whole days with my baby are within reach. I just simply cannot wait!

christmas wishes

We would like to wish our family and friends a very merry and blessed Christmas. We have so much to be thankful for this year. May your day be filled with lots of love.

Also a very merry first Christmas to our baby girl, Minden. Today is so much sweeter having you here with us.

BIG brother cooper

Sweet little almost a month old Minden with Cooper.

I know what you have all been dying to know. That is, how is Cooper handling his new role as a big brother? Truthfully. Really well.

The first two days at home he barked and whined every time she cried, but he has calmed down. If we were changing her diaper he was right their on my leg trying to get a look. 

Her first bath he was right there making sure we knew what we were doing.

He LOVES his little sister. I am sure this love will be reinforced once she figures out he will eat any food she drops. 

The first time I set her on the floor, he ran right over to get a better look, then started pouncing around. It was so sweet; he wanted her to play with him. Soon enough little pup. 

Coop adjusted really well to our little addition. I honestly think he will have a harder time adjusting to me going back to work. He has barely had to spend any time in his kennel since she was born. 

What a good BIG/little fur brother.