minden's birth story

****I wrote this about a month after Minden was born. I wanted to try and write it while everything was still pretty fresh. I know it's a little late, but enjoy!****

Here I am one month after Minden’s birth finally sitting down to write her birth story. After reading hundreds of other baby’s birth stories I am about to type hers. It all feels so surreal.  The excitement of finding out we were expecting is still so fresh in my memory. To have her sleeping next to me as I type this is almost more than my new mommy hormones can handle.

Nate and I knew we wanted a natural birth. Unfortunately, I feel like I had a pretty skewed perspective of what natural birth meant. When I thought too much about it; it made me feel nervous and weak. Was this something that I would be physically and mentally strong enough to handle? I just pictured myself lying in a hospital bed twisting and turning in state of pure torture. I had never talked to anyone who had a natural birth. This made it seem impossible to me.

Once we found out we were expecting; it was time to get educated. We chose to use chiropractic, prenatal yoga, a doula and the Bradley Method to achieve the natural birth we desired. Each one of these was so instrumental in our birth story. As this was my first birth, I was not completely comfortable with a home birth. I just felt there were too many unknowns at the time. We decided to go with the midwives at the University of Iowa Hospitals and clinics.

Up until the night before Minden’s birth I had felt such a rush to get things done. We nearly had my “to-do” list complete. That is with the exception of packing the bag for the hospital. We still had three weeks to go, and in my head I was confident I would probably go closer to 42 weeks. I was feeling tired and decided the bag could wait until next weekend. I remember I even fell asleep earlier than usual that Sunday evening. At this point I had been sleeping on the couch for a few weeks.

I woke up that Monday morning around 5:30 am and just felt off. This wasn’t surprising as I had been fighting a head cold for a few days. I got up and headed to the bathroom. It was in there that I started to notice that it felt like I was constantly peeing. I went and woke Nate to tell him. I knew that at this point in my pregnancy it was completely possible to pee yourself. The fluid was clear, and I wasn’t too concerned. I told Nate I still just wasn’t feeling that well and wanted to take the morning off from work.

However, the fluid continued to leak and I began to worry as my due date was still over three weeks away. I decided I would call the labor and delivery nurse. She told me to lie down on my side for one hour and see if the fluid pooled and then gushed out when I stood up.

After only laying for 20 minutes I could feel the fluid still leaking and I started to have low back pains. My stomach then began to cramp and I rushed to the bathroom. As we had learned in our classes it is normal for your body to flush itself before labor. At this point I decided I would call the nurse again. She told me that she would talk to the midwife and call me back.

Nate left for work at this point. I wasn’t sure if I was experiencing labor, had eaten something bad or possibly had the flu. I remember him kissing me goodbye as I was on the floor on all fours bearing through what I thought was a cramp. I kept saying over and over that I didn’t want to be the lady who thought she was in labor and wasn’t. I just kept picturing I would get to labor and delivery, they would take one look at me, tell me I wasn’t in labor and I would have to walk out of there hanging my head in shame.

For the next hour I moved around the house never really sitting. The pains would come and go. I never looked at the clock to see if they were regular or how long they were lasting. I was just focused on getting through it one contraction at a time, or cramp at a time as I thought. The pain would start in my low back then wrap around the front. I walked from room to room resting on counters and squatting by the couch.

It was now 9:30 am and an hour had passed with no call back from the hospital. The pain was getting more intense and I couldn’t wait any longer for an answer. I called the nurse and she apologized as she thought someone had called me back. She transferred me to the midwife. I explained what I had experienced, and she recommended that I come in and get checked out. I later found out that because of the shift change there was a miscommunication between the midwives regarding who would call me, and that is why I had not heard from them.

I called Nate around 9:45 am and explained to him that they wanted to see me. He said he was expecting a patient at 10:30 am. He asked if I would mind driving to the clinic, getting adjusted and then we could head to the hospital. Realizing that he had no idea how intense the pain had gotten, I let him know that he just needed to get home as soon as possible.

On the way to the hospital I tossed and turned in the back seat. I kept repeating to Nate that I didn’t want to be the lady who went in for false labor. He said that during the car ride was when he became convinced I might be in labor. I remember him asking me if it felt like what I thought a contraction would feel like. I replied that I didn’t know. Everything was new and different than the negative perceptions I had associated with labor in the past. While I was in pain, it was more manageable than I expected at that point. Nate called our doula and informed her that we were headed to the hospital to see if my water had broken.

I remember waiting a short time for the elevator after we parked the car. However, it was taking too long and we proceeded to the stairs. I just wanted to keep moving. When we first got to labor and deliver we stood there for a few minutes before someone helped us. She took us back to a triage room. She told me to get changed and asked me to provide a urine sample. I headed straight to the bathroom. While providing a sample, I looked down and there was blood in my urine. That was my “this is it moment”. I panicked and called for Nate.

From that point on things began to move really fast. The pain became much more intense. I wished that I had eaten something that morning. My hands and face began to go numb. I stayed in the bathroom. Nate rubbed my back as I began to throw up. I remember telling Nate I couldn’t do it anymore, that I wanted the epidural. Nate says he recognized the emotional stages from Bradley Class and he thought I must be getting close. That gave him the confidence to help talk me through my feelings of doubt. I just kept thinking I was probably barely into this process and I didn’t know how much more I could handle. He kept reassuring me that I could do it, and reminded me to slow my breathing.

Almost an hour had gone by and no one had checked on us. Nate went out to see what was going on. They were never informed that we were there. The nurse came in and told me I needed to lie down in the bed so they could get 20 minutes on the monitor. The thought of lying down sounded unbearable at this point, and I let them know I felt that way. Once they got me into the bed I wanted out. I felt the urge to go to the bathroom and I told them. My midwife decided she wanted to check me. I was 9 cm dilated with just a little bit of the cervix left.

They wanted to move me to a birthing suite as soon as possible. Just a few minutes later they wheeled me across the hall and asked me to transfer beds. I flipped onto all fours into the new bed, and refused to leave that position. The midwife checked me again and confirmed that I was fully dilated.

On the next contraction I began to push. I pushed like this for awhile before trying a side-laying position. At this time our doula rushed in to join us. She helped me get into the third position that I would eventually deliver in. I remember pushing being extremely exhausting. I also remember the amazing support around me. The nurses, midwife, doula and Nate telling me how great of a job I was doing. It was their encouragement that kept me going.

Nate says I was comical during pushing. He says I would ask silly things between contractions like whether or not I was giving myself a hemorrhoid. He says his face and hands also got tingly at this time. I had brought a water bottle to the hospital, and I remember he kept offering me water, but then I could also hear him chugging from it.

I pushed for an hour and one minute. I looked down and watched Minden come into this world. It was amazing. She was more beautiful than I could have expected. Then I began to panic as they cut her cord. This wasn’t in our plan. We wanted her to stay on the cord until it stopped pulsating. However, she was stunned from a sudden and quick labor and the pediatric team needed to get her breathing.

Once she was breathing they let me hold her for a few minutes before taking her to transition. Nate went with her and that gave me great relief. When I hold her now it still makes me sad that we didn’t get to have the skin to skin contact that we had planned for immediately following birth. I wanted that for me, but more importantly for her.

I remember how energized I felt after birth. I just wanted to get up and go see her. The nurses and midwife were great. They commented on how well I did. They even said they could tell I had done prenatal yoga. They made me feel strong and proud of what I had just accomplished. My doula stayed by my side during this period.

I didn’t get checked into the hospital until after Minden was born. I remember signing the paper afterwards that says they would be allowed to use the vacuum or forceps in an emergency situation. I was relieved that it wasn’t necessary. Not even two hours later I was up and headed to see my baby girl.

I can confidently say that what we did to prepare in the weeks before her birth that gave me the ability to give Minden the natural birth she deserved. The chiropractic adjustments not only gave me relief from the aches and pains of a growing belly, it also kept Minden in the correct position and prepared my body for labor. Prenatal yoga allowed me to find my inner and outer strength. It prepared me not only physically but mentally. Our doula gave us so much information before and during our birth. She stayed with me after and kept me informed on everything going on with my baby. She helped educate me on the hospital processes. She has a great working relationship with the hospital, and that was very beneficial for us. Finally, our Bradley classes helped us prepare for a partner coached child birth. It also forced us to think about my diet, and other aspects we would not have otherwise.

We are so excited and truly blessed to have Minden in our lives. I am happy we took the steps we needed to achieve the birth we desired.