feeling blessed

I just placed both of my hands on my belly to feel baby girl moving around.
She gave me a really good jab.
I starting thinking about her being in there.
I started to picture who she will look like.
I started to tear up thinking about it all.
Hormones. 

26 weeks

Baby Girl,

Only 14(ish) weeks to go! We are so excited to meet you and hold you in our arms. I am currently enjoying feeling you moving inside of me.

I read that you can now open your eyes, hear your father speaking to me and sway to the sound of music. Your days as a dancer begin. I hope you enjoy dancing as much as I do. Mostly in the dance-because-you-feel-like-it kind of way. Nothing fancy.

I have been a little bit slower this week. The combination of the heat and sleepless nights are starting to catch up to me. Hopefully I can catch up this weekend.

I started reading a book about breastfeeding. It has been helpful, as I have so many questions. I really hope it works for us.

We are having a good time putting your room together. Hopefully we can get the crib painted this weekend. Rumor has it your Grandma L started on your bedding this week. I am so excited to see it when it's finished.

Keep growing little lady. We get to hear your sweet heart beating again in two weeks.

Love,
Momma

pregnancy meltdown

Well, it happened. My first major pregnancy meltdown. The combination of numerous sleepless nights up with heartburn and my hormones gone wild finally got to me.

I wanted to make sure that I wrote this down for my baby girl. So one day when she is pregnant and experiencing something similar to this I can share with her how crazy I was, and she can take comfort in the fact that she is not alone. She is in fact experiencing something very normal.

I don't want to go into too much detail, but it all started with a pizza. On Monday night we really needed to get groceries but neither Nate nor I wanted to do it. We had a coupon for pizza so we decided to go ahead and order in (which we rarely do).

My little brother, Andrew, is living with us for the summer so I called down to his room to see what he would want. His reply was sausage (the one topping I have not been able to stand this entire pregnancy).

My response was a fairly loud and clear no. To which my dear husband said my name in that way that lets me know I better calm down. Next thing I know I am in the bedroom crying about sausage pizzas, nobody caring about how the house looks, being a working mom and somehow 20 minutes later landed on how I will never be pretty ever again. When I reached this point Nate pointed out that maybe I should lay down and rest. My sweet little Coop came in and gave me kisses.

I can look back at it and smile now, but it all seemed very serious at the time. The truth of it is that being a new mom is not only very exciting, but also pretty scary. There are a lot of unknowns that lie ahead of me, and I really struggle with not being in control or having all of the answers. So although I am not proud of how I acted, I think new expecting moms (in fact all moms) deserve a little credit. It's an amazing thing growing a little one inside of your belly, and it is also a lot of hard work. However, I am certain that it will be 100% worth all the craziness in the end.

coop needs a break

Seriously, people. I know how handsome I am but...

this lady needs a new subject to take some pictures of.

I will hold strong.

And pose when she asks politely.

But I can only be bribed with so many treats. This modeling stuff is hard work.

Speaking of this baby getting here, she keeps going on and on to us about the this awesome rug she got from IKEA for the baby's room. All I know is that it came on the most awesome cardboard tube ever. 

25 weeks

Baby girl,

You must have been excited about being 25 weeks today. You woke your momma up with a series of rhythmic belly kicks.

I can now see my belly move when you kick or move. It just amazes me how strong you are getting.

Your favorite times to be active are after I eat and when I lay down for bed. Actually, any time I am sitting still you like to get active. You also stop kicking when I place my hand where you are kicking. Same goes for your father tries to feel your kicks. I wonder if any of this will be an indication of your personality. Your father has told me that when he was a baby his mother could never set him down. I have feeling you might be like him.

We are working bit by bit to put together your room. It feels good to be doing things for you.

Keep growing little lady. We love you!

Momma

the four stages of acceptance

What's that, Mom?

What?! A sister!

I'm exhausted just thinking about trying to keep up.

I'm going to need some time to lay and think about this.

24 weeks

(This is my "Nnnnaaatttttttee" face. He took this picture immediately after taking one he knew I wasn't ready for.)

Sweet Pea,

We had an appointment today and your heartbeat sounded strong at a beautiful 153 bpm. That sound will never get old.

We have started to get things together for your room. I definitely feel like I am "nesting". There is so much I want to get done before you get here.

The last week has been busy with family and friends. Sometimes when we are sitting around with all our loved ones I think about what it will be like to have you there next summer. It's so exciting to have you in our lives.

I wonder who you will look like? What features of mine or your dads you will have.

You have been pretty active the last couple days, and I love it! Keep growing little lady.

Love,
Mom

Cooper was not cooperating for a picture, at all. Hence, the yawn face...

 and the his sniffing-the-air face.

P.S. Check out his fresh summer cut. :)

23 weeks

Little Lady,

This was a big week for our family. I celebrated my 26th birthday, and your father and I celebrated two years of marriage. We spent most of the day trying to get things ready for your room. It was perfect. I cannot wait to put it all together.

We also found out that you, my sweet dear, are a little girl. That has been my gut feeling all along. People kept guessing boy and I just couldn't believe it. Turns out my gut feeling was right.

It has been a lot of fun feeling you move around this week. You must be doing somersaults inside of my tummy. I will feel some kicks here, then there and pretty much everywhere.

I cannot believe how easily I get out of breath these days. If I am already huffing and puffing I don't even want to imagine what it might be like in a few months.

I am trying to embrace my new shape. I have a feeling by the end of this I will be pretty huge, but let's be honest...your mother is not the tallest person and there truly is only one direction for you to grow and that would be out.

We are so excited to meet you. We have a lot of fun guessing what traits you will get from both of us.  Keep growing!

Love,
Mom

a daughter

I know we said were not going to find out, but somewhere along the line we changed our minds. We came up with the perfect way for us to find out while standing in line for a snow cone at the Jazz festival earlier this summer.

Nate and I decided we wanted to do it on our anniversary, but we didn’t want to share with anyone that we were going to do it beforehand. That way we wouldn’t be hounded about it all day yesterday or in the days before. We wanted it to be just us, and it was nice to have a day of just us knowing. Cooper also knew, but he is pretty good at keeping secrets.

When we went in for our ultrasound we had our tech, Brenda, seal baby Lueth's gender in an envelope. She did a really good job too. I tried to peak in the envelope, but she had folded the piece of paper several times, making it impossible to read by holding it up to the light. Last week, we went to the Hawk Shop and picked out a boy blanket and hat and a girl blanket and hat. We asked them kindly to wrap it for us and took it home.

The gift has been sitting there just calling my name to be opened. However, we stayed strong and opened it together yesterday morning. On our second wedding anniversary we found out we are having a baby girl. Nate's response was, "oh no!". I know this is only because he knows this little lady is going to have his heart wrapped around her little finger.

I teased Cooper that his little sister will probably try to paint his nails and put bows in his hair. He seems pretty content with a baby girl joining the pack.

We figured this would be the best present we could give to each other on our anniversary. A memory we will never forget. It’s no vacation on a beach somewhere, but we think it's even better.